"A valuable lesson, but not one that I would ever wish to repeat". A letter from ALLEN SAMUEL, Third Ear Band's violin player, on his experiences with the band.

Quite unexpected, I've received a handwritten letter from Allen Samuel, as you remember the first Italian tour Third Ear Band's violin player.

At that time, living at the Cambodian Embassy of London, he was a Dave Tomlin's friend and it was just Dave to suggest Glen to get Allen in the band: from a young age he was always on the fiddle and it seemed just the right choice.

The first TEB Italian tour, in some way, was a little nightmare, because as the same Allen remembers "Paul and Glen were falling out and Glen was giving me a very hard time. Before we even arrived we were all emotionally drained and physically exhausted from the long car drive from London".

Anywway, as Allen admits, that experience with the TEB "taught me a valuable lesson, but not one that I would ever wish to repeat"...

Here's the original letter, another important tile of this Archive.

 

                           TEB on stage at Umbertide, first Italian tour on September 9th, 1988:  
                             (L-R) Allen Samuel, Mick Carter, Paul Minns and Glen Sweeney.

"Dear Luca,
thanks for your letter, and many apologies for taking so long to reply. In the interim I have managed to lose your letter amid the chaos on my table but I can remember most of your questions I haven’t been sure how to answer them without adding a sour and perhaps unnecessary element. With members of the band now deceased, I didn’t want to add a posthumous unpleasantness. But on reflection, I’m sure you would prefer a truthful account of my experience with the Third Ear Band.
 

                                     The Allen Samuel's letter.
 
There was one thing that I really enjoyed and that was the inspirational playing of Paul. In a way, the rest of the band were a rhythmic background to the stories that he told on the oboe. When I joined the band Glen and Paul were the only original members and the sound was very different from the earlier incarnations of the band. We had just a few play-throughs in my room in London [at the Cambodian embassy] before coming over for our first Italian trip. I don’t think we had enough time to find a new integration between the players, but it could have been a lot worse.
Before joining the band I hadn’t even known of its existence and had no idea of what to expect beyond stories I heard about wild madness an nervous breakdowns during previous tours of the band. Though classically trained, I have always loved making up my own music as I went along. It seemed that the Third Ear Band might be a valuable opportunity to collaborate with others in a spirit of free improvisation. A major problem with the band was emotional dischord between its members. For myself, an emotional harmony between musicians is essential for satisfactory music making. Music is a language of the feelings expressed in sound, and the feelings between the players are the raw ingredients of that language. I don’t enjoy bad feelings between people and I find playing music in such an atmosphere a nightmare. 

 

                            Cremona (September 1988), first Italian tour: L. Ferrari, Glen Sweeney,
          Allen Samuel, Mick Carter, Paul Minns, Kathryn Ade (Minns' wife) and Elena Blasi.

In our first tour in Italy, Paul and Glen were falling out and Glen was giving me a very hard time. Paul was so distressed that he left the band.
Before we even arrived we were all emotionally drained and physically exhausted from the long car drive from London. We arrived at the hotel at dawn and got no sleep. I have no idea how we were even able to stand up, let alone play, in the first gig. We were ill-prepared in every sense, and the most I can say in that my experience with the Third Era Band taught me a valuable lesson, but not one that I would ever wish to repeat.
I was never the less glad to meet you and appreciated your kindness and enthusiasm. All I can say is that I am sorry this is not a more positive reply to your questions. I am still playing and engaged in some unusual and interesting musical projects.
All best wishes, 

Allen”.

          Samuel with the TEB at Vinci (Florence),  July 2nd, 1989 (photos by  Lucia Baldini).

no©2013 Luca Ferrari (unless you intend to make a profit. In which case, ask first) 

"The first cellist to go electric"... An exclusive interview with Paul Buckmaster!

Thanks to Denim Bridges I've got a contact with musician/producer/arranger/sound engineer  

Paul Buckmaster 

in Los Angeles,  former cellist/bassist of the Third Ear Band in 1969-1972 phase.
A long career started in the early '60's and filled by  important collaborations (Miles Davis, David Bowie, Elton John, Rolling Stones, Leonard Cohen...) and many hits (i.e. a Grammy Award in 2002) that is well summed up in an excellent 2009 interview by Christian Dueblin published in this archive at http://ghettoraga.blogspot.it/2011/12/interview-with-paul-buckmaster-from-net.html with a selected discography.
Here I ask Paul to examine in depth his experience with the Third Ear Band, a dimension often strangely disregarded in his biography...

                                                     Paul in his L.A. studio on August 15th, 2011.

When did you meet Glen and join the Third Ear Band? 

"Early 1969, at a music club in the Paddington/Westbourne Grove area of London. As I recall, it was David Bowie who took me there. Had my cello with me, and asked if I could sit in with the trio (Glen, Paul Minns, and Richard Coff). So I jammed with them, and it was exciting; I was playing some kinds of funky bass riffs in the groove with Glen. Really exciting. At the end, I was invited to join, by Glen and Paul, with Richard enthusiastic".

Which was your first impression about the group?

"Loved them and their music – everything about it".

I mean did you know them? 

"Until that evening at the club, was only vaguely aware of them; saw the name on posters for UFO club, Tottenham Court Road, Thursday nights". 

 

May 1969: one of the first live apparence of Paul with the TEB at Camden Fringe Festival (photo: Robert Ellis)

What did you think about their music at that time (I refer to the first two records)? 

"Loved it!"

Do you remember where did you rehearsal with them?
"Rehearsed (infrequently) at Glen's (or was it Paul's) place in South London, Battersea area, I think".

Which was your contribution to their music? I mean, all the tracks was usually "composed by TEB", but I know that your specific contribution regarded the composition and the music orchestration... 

"There was no composition per se – i.e., nothing was written down, to my knowledge; I saw no scores, sketches or any kind of notations. It was all based around Glen's drum pulse/rhythms; Paul had certain motifs or themes, which were associated with certain titles – and codified as master recordings for the Harvest albums. Those titles would be played at concerts, but as far as I recall, we didn't have a set program. Mostly, it was Glen who started any particular piece, with me and Richard – or, later, Denny – joining in a little later, then Paul, who was the actual "lead" voice in the ensemble. Richard – and later Denny - were next accompaniment, with the cello – and later, bass guitar – holding the bottom end. I suppose we were all collectively "composing" with little being said beforehand – or after, for that matter! But even all that was not hard-set!".

Did you have contacts with the Blackhill management (Jenner and King): which is your opinion about it?

"As I recall, I had little or no opinion of them at the time: from what I could determine, they were professional and competent. I imagine that were Glen and Paul alive today, they would be able to far more precisely answer these questions. Have you contacted Richard and Denny? Certainly Richard would be able to answer better than me!".

I ask you that just because Glen and Paul told me it (and Richard didn't accept to have an interview for the archive...)... Can you confirm that EMI didn't understand the real meaning of TEB's music and didn't give to the band the right support?

"No: I cannot, but then, few people in A&R are really competent in this particular area, unless they're of the "old school" in which nearly all were competent in music; for example, the people at Columbia (CBS) records, New York - Dr George Butler – head of A&R for the whole jazz sector - comes to mind, or Jay Landers. Can't recall who was at EMI Harvest at the time, but the chances are that there were still a few people of the serious "old school" there".

Do you remember the concert at Hyde Park (have you seen the short video excerpt in the Net at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h1XrbbIV-g8)? 

"Yes". 

                                                TEB at Hyde Park on June 7th, 1969 with Paul at cello.

What about the reactions of audience there? And generally which was the reactions of people at your concerts? 

"I can't say what the reactions of the audience were, as I was – along with everybody else in the band up on the bandstand, playing our gig, and I could only see a small portion of them! However, from what I could sense, the audience was curious, wondering what the heck this music was we were playing. I suppose the audience were really there for the Stones, and "semi" couldn't care less for what we were doing. Of course they were enjoying a rare day of bright sunshine in a beautiful London park, and they were open to all kinds of different stuff; maybe some of them were even fans of the TEB!

 
I was told, later, that they (the Stones) had chosen us to open for them, because we were more likely to calm the crowd. You've got to remember that a large number of people were (stupidly) into drugs (mostly hashish and herb), me no less. So maybe that was a part of the audience … 40 percent or more? Who knows! 

 
All four of us had spliffed up – a large six-Rizla-skin combo of tobacco, sensimilla, Moroccan kif, and heavy opiated Afghani hashish, with a concomitant thin cardboard roach – and were smoking it prior to going on stage. So you can imagine just how ripped we must have been. The music – whatever there is that remains from the gig – does not display any bravura or professionalism. 

 
As for any other gigs, we were sometimes excellent – even transcendent to the Empyrean; that is what I and all the members lived for - and sometimes not quite so transcendent, and the Hyde Park gig was among those. The audience didn't notice anything, tho' - as far as I could tell". 

                                           Third Ear Band live at London Hyde Park (June 7th, 1969)

What do you remember about the period before "Macbeth", when the band tried to record a pop album at the London Balham Studios titled "The Dragon Wakes"? 

"Don't recall any sessions at Balham Studios or the title. This may have been one of the periods I was not a member; this was one of the reasons I quit; I was an on-again-off-again member, which, as I say, was not fair on them". 

I'm sure at that time you was in the band. You can listen here (https://rapidshare.com/#!download|452p1|407890537|_Raga_n.1_|8181|0|0) to an unrealised track taken from the Balham sessions in February 1971 titled "Raga n. 1" (Paul Minns discovered it on a reel in his attic). The line up included you and Bridges. There's a remote project of Bridges to realize a CD with that tracks, because he has all the original reels of it, but we're talking about it from 2010 and at the moment nothing happened... Anyway, can you comment it for us?
"Amazing! Sounds really good; and as you say, shows the potential of what kinds of directions the music might have taken ...
You know, I cannot recall the session, tho' I'm obviously playing on it, and cannot recall any "Balham Studios". Paul has clearly double-tracked - or even triple-tracked - himself, and altho' there's no violin, heard some brief phrases of a bowed instrument towards the end, which is probably me overdubbing some cello.
I miss the sound and texture of a violin, and have some critical thoughts about the bass guitar, which are in any event irrelevant, since nothing can be done about it. What's wrong with the bass? a) rhythmically too "on" the beat; the bassist (me!) should have being playing a regular, repeated, tho' slightly syncopated riff, perhaps never changing at all, and perhaps staying only on one note. b) The problem here is that he (the bassist) is playing too many tonal phrases, even in the major mode! And is a bit scattered in the ideas. I could say more, but don't want to spoil the listening of the fans!
Everybody else is playing great, altho' Denny has a slight tendency to rush … but I attribute that to us not playing together more frequently, and doing lots more gigs! Who knows where it would have gone, had the band stayed together and played at least four days a week … I'm sure somewhere really special and new, and strange and other-worldy – I mean in the science-fictional sense, not "supernatural" (whatever that means). The potential was vast".

Have you ever seen that 1970 German TV broadcast recently issued on DVD? Which is your opinion about it? Are you proud of that season of your career? Do you remember who and how TEB involved conga player Gaspar Lawal?

"Is that the one with Denny's vocal? I think it's fine! Don't recall how Gaspar joined us for those TV – and some other – dates: No doubt, Glen and Paul were the deciders, and I'm glad of it: I loved the sound of the congas in the band's context at the time, with Glen on traps, Denny on electric guitars, and me on electric bass and electric cello. By the way, the roadie who drove us everywhere - whose name I can't immediately recall - and did the stage set-ups, was an expert maker of stuff (any stuff!); he built a damped metal pick-up bridge with dense rubber feet, for my cello, which was amplified (a few years later – 1972 – I bought a wood Barcus-Berry bridge, which had buried inside it a transducer, which could be plugged in … also had a wah–wah pedal!). I am probably the first cellist to go electric! (But there was a cellist in Holland whom I heard, a year later – maybe 1970-'71, who sounded like Hendrix – brilliant and highly skilled. I think he may have overdosed on heroin – at least that's what I heard.)".

 

TEB (L-R: Buckmaster, Bridges, Lawall and Minns) on stage for the German TV broadcast.

How do you react to the common idea about Miles Davis' "Bitches Brew" inspired 1971-1972 TEB's music? 

"It's not accurate, except that – maybe – there's a bass riff for "Ecstasy in D" which recalls the bass riff under "Bitches Brew", but it's not anywhere as brilliant as the "Bitches Brew" riff, which is one of the many touches of genius in that incredible album of fierce beauty. What's amazingly excellent about that riff is the key-modulations it goes thru' over the two-measure duration: 2 beats of C major, two of B major, two of E major (but here you have an even greater touch of genius: the first 8th of the E major chord is in the first inversion – E over G# - classically written by Miles, with no doubling of the third - going to E major root position on the second 8th, as a syncopation), with the last two beats – anticipated in syncopation by an 8th – back to B major, with the last 8th being the perfect cadence (G-to-C) into the new two-measure cycle starting with C major!!!

Those of your readers who know a little proper classical harmony will know what I mean, but those who don't, can still enjoy the piece … Remember, as a student at Juilliard, and earlier, when he received private lessons, Miles had studied classical harmony and counterpoint".

A rare picture of the TEB in 1971.

What about the Macbeth period? Which was the mood in the band? What happenend in the George Martin's Air studios?
"I had a little more say in the direction the music took for the movie score; Glen, Paul, Richard and Denny trusting me with my suggestions. For example, I actually wrote the dreary "Witches Song", which we played, and sang. The singing was done by the five of us; Roman wanted it to be "kind of disgusting" … We did a certain amount of overdubbing, to create a more dense texture in places, with me and Richard making clustery string harmonies … I think the End Titles is one of the better pieces in the score; Denny contributed a lot to that, and a great driving pulse from Glen! I believe Denny composed "Fleance"'s Song" with Paul … but we're all credited as co-writers, which was Glen's democratic, egalitarian virtue".

Infact in that period (January 16th, 1971) you sent a letter to Melody Maker explaining about the rules in the band (you wrote: "(...) If anybody thinks differently, thinks that the band "led" by one member (i.e. one person deciding the format, tempo, key or mode, changes etc. and imposing this on the others) then they have totally missed on the most important point, if not the most important point of the Third Ear Band. It's not I, it's we, and we're free".): why did you decide to write it?

"I don't even remember writing such a letter … wow!!! That is perfectly true".

About "Fleance"'s song, I know Glen and Paul didn't love it, Glen considered it "rubbish". This is confirmed by Bridges in a recent interview I had with him : which is your opinion about this track, not so hortodox in the TEB's repertoire?

Paul in studio (February 2012).

"You're right: it certainly is not. Not at all typical of what one would expect from the TEB! My opinion: Roman Polanski was satisfied, and that's all that really matters in the final analysis! From a musical perspective, it's kind of "OK", but not a work of genius, for sure".

Is there something you've taken from the experience you had with the TEB that you've used forward?

"All musical experience – I suppose, all mixed in!!! But I "used" nothing specific".

Thank you very much, Paul, for your very rare kindness!

"A pleasure, Luca! Cari saluti, Paul".

27-02-2012: Ocean Way Studios, Hollywood, Paul directing a session for Oriane Hazan.

 no©2013 Luca Ferrari (unless you intend to make a profit. In which case, ask first) 

TEB's "Macbeth" Overture at North Fork Sound radio...

TEB's "Overture" from "Macbeth" (1972) was selected by Howard Thompson, a DJ of North Fork Sound, for his radio programme on September 30th, 2012.  

North Fork Sound is an American radio station from New Suffolk, NY.

You can read the complete list of the tracks aired that day at http://northforksound.blogspot.it/2012_09_01_archive.html

The radio Web site is at http://www.live365.com/stations/thespangler?play=2

As you can see, Third Ear Band's music is still alive and well around the world!

                        North Fork Sound - PO Box 45, New Suffolk NY, 11956 USA

                                                        Third Ear Band - "Overture"/"The Beach" (1972)

 no©2013 Luca Ferrari (unless you intend to make a profit. In which case, ask first) 

Too many mushrooms? Another controversial reference to the Third Ear Band's music by the press...

October 2010: "Terrascope"'s journalists Ian Fraser and Phil McMullen write some albums reviews. Among them, about the new Mushroom's record, “Naked, Stoned and Stabbed”, they state (http://www.terrascope.co.uk/Reviews/Rumbles_October_2010.htm):

"Staying on the West Coast of America but in a very different jar of tadpoles, Mushroom is a musicians’ collective from the San Francisco Bay Area whose membership includes the likes of Josh Pollock and Erik Pearson, who may be familiar to fans of Gong through their various collaborations with Daevid Allen. “Naked, Stoned and Stabbed” (4Zero Records) is a mostly acoustic and ambient affair, blending both Western and Eastern hemisphere influences with a strange assortment of instrumentation including Latin and African percussion, sitar, celesta and vibraharp. The impressive roster of contributing artistes and the odd and varied instruments made this one of the most eagerly anticipated of this month’s batch of Rumbles and, by and large, it doesn’t disappoint. The opening number “Infatuation” sits us squarely around the hippie camp fire from which comforting flames we never really move too far. “Jerry Rubin: He Ain’t Heavy He’s My Brother” sounds like the Third Ear Band (no bad thing as far as these two ears are concerned) and is the best of the first few songs here. The mood becomes more upbeat five tracks in with the straight out of a “spirit of ‘69” freak jam known as “Take Off Your Face and Recover From That Trip You’ve Been On” with Hammond-like keyboards and psychedelic guitar from the Melton/Kaukonan handbook, while the Afro-Latin percussion lends it a Santana at Woodstock feel. This is one of the outstanding tracks here together with the lengthy eastern improvisation, “Tariq Ali”, the spectral, slightly jazzy “Indulgence” and the only vocal track and the one that closes proceedings, a fine take on Kevin Ayers’ “Singing A Song In The Morning” which even features a narrative vocal in the style of Kevin’s “Stranger In Blue Suede Shoes” and could easily be the man himself. Aside from these choice cuts, “Naked, Stoned and Stabbed” is an intriguing and enjoyable enough collection of tunes, and picks up an extra mark for some oddball song names the length of Tyrannosaurus Rex LP titles. Quite what guitarist Sean Smith (see July Rumbles) thinks of the hopefully affectionate “tribute” to him on track 4 would be interesting to know. If you’re reading this Sean, why not drop us a line let us know. There must be a story in there somewhere".  

                                    Mushroom playing live at the Sweetwater in Mill Valley ( CA).

Maybe I'm becoming old and dull, but listening to the track I don't feel any convincing reference to the TEB's sound, apart the playing of some instruments (tablas, violin) and a blurry idea of free-form music...

Anyway, which is the best proof that listening the tune by yourself ?

You can download the full (very beautiful!) album at the Plixid.com site:

http://plixid.com/2010/12/09/mushroom-naked-stoned-stabbed-2010-mp3/

or listen/download just the track at: http://snd.sc/Wphdxo

Then, if you like it, let me know what do you think about...

no©2013 Luca Ferrari (unless you intend to make a profit. In which case, ask first) 

An interview with Swiss filmaker Clemens Klopfeinstein that used TEB music for his film in 1979.

As you probably remember (if not, read at http://ghettoraga.blogspot.it/2010/05/german-underground-filmmaker-clemens.html) in 1979 Swiss film director Clemens Klopfenstein used a track of the Third Ear Band's second album (about 7' of "Fire") for his short film "Geschichte der Nacht" (Story of Night).

"Geschichte der Nacht" DVD

An advant-garde artist, Klopfeinstein, now 68, he has directed a lot of movies (http://www.klopfenstein.net/clemens.aspx/news), some also available in DVD format.

He's a painter too and sometimes he makes exhibithions around the world.

Quite surprisingly he's living just in Italy, in that wonderful little central region of Umbria.

Here's a short interview with him just to investigate the story and the reasons of that his eccentric choice... 

1. When/how did you know the Third Ear Bands music? 
"I think I heard them for the first time with their soundtrack of Polanski's "MacBeth".

2. Which was your first impression about it? 
"I was very impressed. As soon as I found an opportunity, I bought all their vinyl discs I was able to find (in Basel, at the Freienstrasse in particular)".

3. Why did you choice to use a track from the band's repertoire?
4. How do you think the music fits perfectly into the sequences?
5. Which kind of process you used to make that sequence? 
"I was shooting some takes of the carnival in Basel by night. The musical performances of the bands wandering through the strees, their drummers and pipers, are well known, very impressive, but also very corny. I knew I had to replace their music at all costs in order to give a dreamy, powerful, even nightmarish tone to my video takes. The tracks by the Third Ear Band fit that spot perfectly. The Swiss people, especially the people living in Basel, were stunned of the result! You know, the carnival in Basel is a bit bourgeois. When the people finally watched those ghastly platoons moving through the streets with that spooky music, they were positively shocked. In fact, the first takes were for a test film ("Ceremony", 10 minutes in black and white) which explored the possibilities of a new technique allowing us to shoot by night without any source of artificial light (except the faint lights already shining through the nightly city streets). That test film was shown at the national film festival of Solothurn, in 1976. At that point the German television ZDF (especially editor Sibylle Hubatschek-Rahn and head editor Ekart Stein) and its workshop "Das kleine Fernsehspiel" were electrified and gave their support for the full night movie "Geschichte der Nacht". The test film "Ceremony" was then re-cut and inserted into the final movie as a 3 minutes sequence".

6. Did you contact the musicians to get the permission for using it?
"No, it was a television production (ZDF and SF-DRS), therefore I only had to submit the list of musical works used and the television fixed the rights and permissions through Gema and Suisa".

 
5. Are you glad about the result of your film?
"I'm very glad about the result. In fact, it is - unfortunately perhaps - my best known production and it is still shown in various cinematheques even after many years. Once Ang Lee himself said that he had to study my "masterpiece" at film school".

 
6. Do you know your film is available free at http://ubu.com/film/klopfenstein_nacht.html ? 

"Yes, I am aware of it".

 
7. Which reactions has it got? 

"Many, many reactions, most of them were positive ones. Even some imitators, which is also flattering". 

 
8. Have you used TEB music in other films made by you?

"No, never again. I'm afraid I lost my vinyls shortly thereafter. Or maybe they were stolen".

Clemens Klopfeinstein at his home as a painter.

About the movie, Chris Auty (Programme Note London Film Co-op) writes that "it's a black-and-white record of European cities in the dark (2-5am), from Basle to Belfast. Quiet, and meditative, what ermerges most strongly is an eerie sense of city landscapes as deserted film sets, in which the desolate architecture overwhelms any sense of reality. The only reassurance that we are not in some endless machine-Metropolis is the shadow of daytime activity: a juggernaut plunging through a darkened village, a plague of small birds in the predawn light. The whole thing is underscored by a beautiful 'composed' soundtrack, from quietly humming stretlamps to reggae and the rumble of armoured cars in Belfast. A strange and remarkable combination of dream, documentary and science-fiction."

You can watch here an excerpt of it taken from YouTube:

no©2012 Luca Ferrari (unless you intend to make a profit. In which case, ask first)     

Winter Solstice with the Third Ear Band.

To all the Third Ear Band fans 
and Ghetto Raga Archive readers

(in spite of Maya calendar and other assorted catastrophic prophesies)

HAVE A GREAT WINTER SOLSTICE!

"Stigma. A XMas ghost story" (BBC, UK 1977)
 

Discovered by our post folk-shaman Sedayne, this old short film (just 31.49) was produced by BBC and broadcasted on December 28th, 1977. With a track by Rolling Stones' "Aftermath" ("Mothers little helper"), on the soundtrack you can listen also to an excerpt of "Air" played by the Third Ear Band!

"Stigma" is one of the Christmas BBC short movies (read at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Ghost_Story_for_Christmas) produced in 1971-1978. It was written by Clive Exton and directed by Lawrence Gordon Clark. 

The DVD edition (UK 2012).

This is the original synopsys: "The pagan stone circles of Avebury are the backdrop for writer Clive Exton's modern-day horror. The attempted removal of an ancient menhir from a family's back garden unleashes a bloody curse on unsuspecting housewife Katharine, whose rising panic is captured brilliantly by Kate Binchy". 

Read a good review of it at http://www.the-medium-is-not-enough.com/2011/12/christmas_lost_gems_stigma_1977.php

no©2012 Luca Ferrari (unless you intend to make a profit. In which case, ask first)

TEB on "Beat Instrumental" magazine in 1971!

Thanks the rare kindness of a fabulous English record shop - BEATCHAPTER (www.beatchapter.com) - I've got an old precious article about the Third Ear Band published on "Beat Instrumental" (issue 132) on October 1971.

Written by S.T. (Steve Turner), is an interesting cross-section of the Band in that year, just after the (failed) attempt to become a pop group and during the recording sessions for Polanski's "Macbeth" film soundtrack.
Glen Sweeney quotes his favourite musicians - Terry Riley,  Miles Davis, Gyorgy Ligeti (!!!) - saying: "It's very hard to me get into Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young for instance. This is because it's all vocals and I don't seem to be able to relate to it in the way I feel I should"...

Beatchapter - 49 Sebert Road, Forest Gate - London UK E70NJ
ph.: 020 85194590     e-mail: sales@beatchapter  

no©2012 Luca Ferrari (unless you intend to make a profit. In which case, ask first) 

"Armistice". A recent Dave Tomlin's writing on "International Times" Web site.

Here's a recent writing by Dave Tomlin, published on International Times Web site (http://internationaltimes.it).

At the close of the 1914 -18 war the streets of London were inundated with a population suffused with an unbounded joy. Dancing and merrymaking were the order of the day and many tears of happiness were shed; many tears of sorrow too. And one word was on everyone’s lips, a word that flew in every voice from one to another throughout the land ─ the long awaited ‘Armistice’. A word synonymous with peace, conciliation and relaxation from the terrible austerities and carnage of war. ‘Hooray!’ they sang, for at last had come the great Armistice.

In those innocent days when a majority of that population were semi-literate and unlikely to have much access to a dictionary; no dissenting voice was heard; and even the intelligentsia were strangely silent; for one look in any dictionary gives the whole game away.

‘Armistice ─ an agreement to stop fighting temporarily.’


Were those who drew up the documents and devised the terms under this word aware of its meaning? Or of the terrible prophecy which it irrefutably implied. Three wrecked and depleted economies agreeing to disengage for a while to lick their wounds and allow a couple of generations to refresh their stocks of cannon-fodder. For, of course, twenty years later that prophecy was fulfilled and the signatories returned to the fray.

This syndrome, although as illustrated here relates to high politics, can be seen to operate in all walks of human life, and reveals itself on the smallest scale and in the commonest of incidents.


Armistice

Emma has just stepped out into her back garden. She stands looking upward watching an aeroplane as it passes overhead and for one moment she almost loses her balance. She stretches out her arm and holds on to the fence which divides her garden from the one next door. The fence is of light construction and her weight as she wobbles bows it a little.

A curtain in the window of the kitchen adjacent house twitches slightly and a moment later the kitchen door opens and Mrs B─ steps out. She is a stout woman and her manner is stern. She walks up to the fence and addresses Emma who still rests her hand on the fence.

‘Be careful of that fence,’ she says. ‘It’s not very strong and can’t take your weight.’

‘I’m so sorry,’ says Emma, hurriedly withdrawing her hand. Emma doesn’t like Mrs B─, who she thinks is common. ‘But it was quite accidental and look.’ She straightens the fence. ‘It’s all right now.’

‘Well that may be,’ says Mrs B─ ‘But I’d just as soon you don’t lean on it again.’

This gets up Emma’s nose a little; she is not going to take orders from this prole.

‘Well you can just as soon something else then, and be less rude into the bargain.’

‘Rude!’ says Mrs B─. ‘I’ll show you rude if you start calling me names.’

‘I just think you shouldn’t be so rude.’ says Emma.

‘Well as far as I’m concerned you can just piss off.’ says Mrs B─. Emma is shocked by this and throws caution to the winds.

‘You vile woman,’ she shouts, her voice carrying across the nearby back gardens.

‘Oh, so I’m a vile woman am I? How dare you? You dirty whore.’

Emma lowers her voice but puts a steely edge to it.

‘You fat old cow,’ she grits. ‘You piece of low-life scum!’

Mrs B─ now falls into a fearful rage and spittle flies as she screams her defiance. ‘You filthy stinking SLAG!’ She searches through her repertoire for more of the same. ‘And what’s more your husband is a pimp.’

‘Don’t you dare call my husband a pimp,’ cries Emma, this last had got to her and there are tears in her eyes.

‘Oh, crying now are we?’ says Mrs B─ scornfully. ‘It only goes to show your sneaky nature.’

‘But I’m not sneaky,’ says Emma through her tears, ‘and I’m always ready to be friends.’

Mrs B─ considers this and reluctantly concedes a point.

‘Well all right then,’ she says. ‘But you must promise to leave my fence alone.’

‘I will,’ says Emma gladly, ‘and I don’t really think you’re a fat old cow.’

Mrs B─ allows herself just a hint of a conciliatory smile.

‘Well all right my dear,’ she says. ‘And you’re not a slag.’

Now they are both smiling and Mrs B─, imbued with a sudden and unexpected feeling towards her neighbour invites her in for a slice of cake and a cup of tea.

Emma eagerly agrees and since there is a gate in the fence for the convenience of the gardeners she comes through and follows Mrs B─ into her kitchen.

They sit at the table waiting for the kettle to boil while Mrs B─ cuts the cake.

‘I must say,’ begins Mrs B─, ‘you have managed to get some very nice flowers to grow in your garden.’

Emma likes this; maybe Mrs B─ is not so bad after all. She ventures a compliment of her own.

‘Well thank you,’ she says, ‘and I never fail to admire you hollyhocks.’

Now it is the turn of Mrs B─ to harbour warmer feelings; but…

‘You know my dear,’ she says condescendingly. ‘It was my husband who built the fence and he had quite a difficult job sinking in the posts.’

‘Yes of course,’ says Emma, ‘and I have said I’m sorry.’

Mrs B─ pours the tea but hasn’t finished yet.

‘So you must understand that I can’t allow people to go around leaning on it.’

Emma is now on the defensive.

‘But I wasn’t actually leaning on it; just recovering my balance.’

‘Well it looked to me as if you were definitely leaning.’ says Mrs B─ firmly. ‘And if that fence goes down my husband is going to be very upset.’

‘Look, can’t you just shut up about the bloody fence for a moment,’ says Emma now becoming irritated by this. ‘I thought we were over that and I’ve promised not to do it again.’

‘Don’t tell me to shut up in my own kitchen,’ shouts Mrs B─. ‘I didn’t invite you in to be insulted.’

‘Well if you behave like a common fish-wife I have no choice but to retaliate.’

‘Oh, a fish-wife now am I?’ screams Mrs B─. ‘Then you can just get out of my bloody kitchen NOW!’

They get to their feet and Emma’s chair crashes to the floor. She turns and flounces out while flinging a Parthian shot over her shoulder.

‘You’re nothing but a fat scumbag and a dirty slut!’ she shrieks.

‘And your husband’s a pimp!’ screams Mrs B─."

(©2012 Dave Tomlin)

no©2012 Luca Ferrari (unless you intend to make a profit. In which case, ask first)